The runners lull…..? Or greif?

Week 7 training and fundraising

Monday – Long Night Shift

Tuesday – Rest

Wednesday – Long Day Shift

Thursday – Rest

Friday – Long Night Shift

Saturday – Threshold Run – 2.58 miles

Sunday – Rest

Weekly miles – 2.58 miles

Total 2013 Miles – 96.70 miles

Weekly Sponsors – £30

Total 2013 Sponsors – £818

Have had a really low week this last week. Not sure what it is. Tiredness from training? Maybe. Tiredness from switching between night and day shifts at work? Maybe. Sudden realisation of the task ahead? Maybe. Knowing that nothing I do will bring my brother back? Most definitely.

I think that over the last few weeks I have suddenly come to realise that Graham has gone. I will never see him, touch him, or speak to him again. Gone…….

OK, so I have known this since April 8th 2012, the day he went to sleep, but, I don’t think anyone really accepts it from the outset. I remember in the times leading up to Graham passing, some people saying “I guess it may be a bit easier knowing this was going to happen” and after his death “At least he is no longer in pain”. All of this is true, but the gap he has left behind and the pain that fills that gap is unspeakable. We all just want him back, when he was well, and to relive those good times again.

I have however sought some solace in a poem I would like to share with you, that when I read it, just helps to lift my sorrow a bit 🙂

Miss me, but let me go

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me,

I want no tears in a gloom-filled room,

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little – But not for long

And not with your head bowed low,

Remember the love that we once shared,

Miss me – But let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take,

And each must go alone,

It’s all a part of the Master’s plan

A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart

Go to your friends that we know,

And bury your sorrows in doing good works,

Miss me – But let me go

I do think however that there is a bit of a training lull playing it’s part at the moment as well. As runner usually helps me through these difficult moments….. I seem to be finding excuses which have been there before but have never got in the way… I have been seeking some advice from my fellow ‘Team Orange’ members (running for the same charity in the London Marathon) and would like to share their thoughts on picking yourself up when things are low.

Bernie says –

Set achievable goals 
Add all the miles you do and keep a record to see your progress.
Take pride in your achievements (records help you realise these)
Give yourself rewards – a treat after you complete a run. Take away, meal out, trip to cinema. 
Rewards during a run. I’ll have a gel, drink or jelly baby when I get to the top of the hill, the next lampost, next mile marker etc

If you run out and back, tell yourself the return journey is downhill.

Have positive thoughts:
I’m an athlete! (Oh yes you are …. You are going to run a marathon soon!)
I’m strong!
I can do this!
I’m going to feeling proud when I’ve done this!

Use distractions
>Find people to run with – enormously helpful
>Listen to music, podcasts, motivational recordings
>Sing a motivational tune in your head (or outloud)
>count to 100 repeatedly (I did this from mile 6 in last year’s marathon when I strained my calf and needed to think of something other than my calf for the next 20 miles!! It works!!)
When it gets tough, imagine your kids, partner, friends are at the top of that hill, end of that road etc and cheering for you to get there. When you get there smile and ‘listen to them’ …… repeat …. repeat! In London there will be thousands cheering you.
Adam says – 
Routine, routine, routine! Don’t think about it too much, just check the schedule and get out & run.
How about giving yourself no choice? Tell friends and colleagues your goals, put them on Facebook. You might be less likely to ‘let people down’. Check your progress on Garmin, manometer or however you track and trace your runs, you will be surprised and delighted with how well you are doing
Laura says – 
I sometimes chant in my head – you can do it, you can do it!! Plus the biggest thing I try to remember is why I’m doing it – raising money for MDC! Then I feel lucky to be able to run!! Have had a tough week too.
Rachel says – 
I often feel like this. But then I come home and look at my fundraising page or talk to people about it, and they soon cheer you up by saying how well you are doing. It’s a cheeky way to boost your ego, but it really helps!
Great guys those orange runners 🙂 and a great support over a whole range of matters during the journey leading up the the 26.2miles that loom.
So for the next week I will be using everyones encouragement, just taking a step back from life for a moment, treating myself a little, reassess whats important, seek some bereavement help, and run with Matt at the weekend, instead of on my own!
In new developments I have been featured on the MDC webiste – article can be found here –
And have 120 ‘likes’ on my facebook page which can be found here –
And don’t forget you can sponsor me here!
Now I just need to put one foot in front of the other again!
Keep running!

4 thoughts on “The runners lull…..? Or greif?

  1. This had me in tears and I feel your pain. I lost my Mum to Ovarian Cancer nearly 8 years ago and it still hurts. I am too running the London Marathon, I have high days and lows days. Its part of the training unfortunately. But just see not only fantastic fundraising but also charity promotion you are doing. Think of the positives on why you are running and hopefully it will get us both through.


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